Thursday, May 21, 2020

Freud s Theories Of Human Sexual Development Essay

Human sexual development begins in the womb and traverses the entire life span. From fetal hormonal influences that determine expressed sex to nascent sexual discovery in toddlers, dramatic physical changes during puberty, and sexual partners in adulthood, sexuality follows us throughout every major developmental stage in life (some developmental stages even being defined by sexual changes, e.g. menarche, spermarche, and menopause). With sexuality being such an integral part of the human experience, it is no surprise, then, that various prominent thinkers have created theories based upon stages of human sexual development. Arguably one of the most influential theories of human sexual development are Sigmund Freud’s stages of psychosexual development (Freud, 1905/1962). While this entry seeks to give the reader an overview of Freud’s theory of psychosexual development, it is also a worthwhile venture to include the environmental, societal and philosophical backgrounds which influenced Freud. Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) was an Austrian neurologist and the founder of the counseling technique of psychoanalysis, the first technique coined to alleviate psychopathological ailments through talking (i.e. â€Å"the talking cure†). Freud was born into a society rife with sexual debauchery (Grandner Jones, 1996). Prostitution ran rampant throughout Vienna, but a societal demonization of sexuality, comparable to Victorian England, created a confusing system of mores. Many contemporariesShow MoreRelatedSigmund Freud s Theory Of Psychology1356 Words   |  6 PagesSigmund Freud was an Austrian neurologist, also known as the founding father of Psychoanalysis. Freud discovered psychoanalysis by organizing ideas and information from different theories and clinical observations. Psychoanalysis is A method of analyzing psychic phenomena and treating mental and emotional disorders that is based on the concepts and theories of Sigmund Freud, that emphasizes the importance of free association and dream analysis, and that involves treatment sessions during which theRead MoreFreud, S. on the Theory of Sexuality from his article The Transformations of Puberty in Three Essay on the Theory of Sexuality and other works1519 Words   |  7 PagesSigmund Freuds Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality, written in 1905, attempted to trace the course of the development of the sexual instinct in human beings from infancy to maturity. This instinct is not simply an animal instinct but is specific to both human culture and the form of conscious and unconscious life we live within it. For Freud sexuality is infinitely complicated and far-reaching in its effects and forms the basis of self-identity and interactions. His Third Essay discusses theRead MoreSigmund Freud s Theory Of Development1000 Words   |  4 Pagespsychosexual theory of development is and why it is important for the developing child to overcome said conflicts. I also talked about the different effects of not overcoming the conflicts Freud had determined that would lead to adult behaviors. Over the years, Sigmund Freud has created many theories involving many different ideas in the psychological world. One theory that stood out to me throughout our journey in introduction to psychology is Freud’s developmental theory. Freud s development theoryRead MoreSigmund Freud s Theory Of Psychoanalysis1339 Words   |  6 PagesSigmund Freud Biographic Description of Sigmund Freud Sigmund Freud was born on May 6, 1856 in Freiberg (currently known as Czech Republic). Freud is best known as the founder of psychoanalysis, which entails a scientific analysis of unpacking unconscious conflicts based on free associations, fantasies, and dreams of the patient. He was among the greatest psychologists of the 20th century, and his legacy lasts up to now. While young (4 years old), his family relocated to Vienna where he lived andRead MoreDescribe and critically evaluate the psychoanalytical approach1148 Words   |  5 Pagesbased on the system of psychoanalysis developed by Sigmund Freud. Freud was primarily interested in investigating the unconscious mind through the study of dreams, mental illness and everyday slips of the tongue or actions. He conducted a series of in-depth studies of adult neurotic, which enabled him to devise his theory of human personality, a theory of psychosexual development and an explanation of the causes and treatment of neuroses. Freud was interested in neurotic mental illness and developedRead MoreTheories And Theory Of Psychosocial Development Essay1255 Words   |  6 Pages 1 Theories Theorist Tiffany Leaf Walden University Dr. Thomas Russo RSCH – 61007-6 Research Theory Life is full of many experiences and challenges which help individuals to grow and become better people. There has been tons of research to better understand how and why humans develop and grow the way they do. Among the many theories and therapist in the field of psychology, I have chosen psychosexual and psychosocial development to provide basic tenets, explainRead MoreFreud s Psychoanalytic Theory Of Personality1384 Words   |  6 Pagespsychoanalytic theory of personality. I will describe what his theory is about and about what my thoughts are about if I would use this technique or not in my way in counseling. I will also describe different ways that I would still use the Freud’s technique but in my own unique way. Sigmund Freud s psychoanalytic theory of personality argues that human behavior is the result of the interactions among three component parts of the mind: the id, ego, and superego. This theory, known as Freud s structuralRead MoreA Practical And Solution Focused Therapy987 Words   |  4 Pagesdistress. Psychoanalytic or psychodynamic psychotherapy draws on theories and practices of analytical psychology and psychoanalysis. It is a therapeutic process which helps patients understand and resolve their problems by increasing awareness of their inner world and its influence over relationships both past and present. It differs from most other therapies in aiming for deep seated change in personality and emotional development. (Jacobson, 2013) This therapy aim to help people with serious psychologicalRead MorePsychology Is The Study Of The Mind And Behavior1389 Words   |  6 PagesPsychology first emerged there has been ,many differing schools of Psychology each with different theories in which to understand human behaviour. In this essay I will explain the four major schools of psychology including psychoanalysis, behaviourism, biological and cognitive, and the major influences behind each such as Freud. Psychoanalysis is a school of thought first developed by Sigmeund Freud(1856-1939) one of the most influential psychologists to date. Although Psychoanalysis has been developedRead MorePsychoanalytic Personality Assessment1107 Words   |  4 Pagesoutside a persons awareness, which direct the persons behavior. Modern psychology has been impacted greatly by the psychoanalytic theories of Freud, Jung, and Adler. These three psychoanalysts proposed many concepts and their theories are still been attempted. Their human mind theories changed the world. The three believed that in personality shaping childhood development and parenting played an important role. They also believed that daydreams and dreams were important as well. The impact of the unconscious

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Rudolf Diesel And The Invention Of The Diesel Engine

Rudolf Diesel is an infamous German innovator, mainly known for the invention of the Diesel engine, which was named after him. However, Rudolf was not actually born in Germany but in Paris, France on March 18th, 1858 and was the second of three children. His parents emigrated from Bavaria to become leather goods manufacturers; their drive and creativity would ultimately spark Rudolf’s passion for inventing. The Diesel family was forced to move out of Paris due to the Franco-Prussian war in 1870. While the Diesel family settled in England, Rudolf’s parents figured it would be best to send Rudolf to Germany with his aunt and uncle so he could attend a private school where his uncle taught mathematics. Rudolf demonstrated an inquisitive nature and thirst for knowledge from an early age, however his parents did not encourage this. They would much rather see Rudolf dive into the work force rather than pursuing an education. After finishing his basic education at the top of t he class, Rudolf applied and was accepted into the Industrial School of Augsburg with a scholarship (Bellis, 2015). After graduating in 1880 and with a few years of work experience under his belt, he began to develop a steam engine using ammonia vapour. The results of this experiment were disastrous as during testing the engine exploded and nearly killed him. In 1893, Rudolf published a paper with designs of an engine based on the Carnot cycle; this created the foundation for the Diesel engine. ThroughoutShow MoreRelatedRudolf Diesel s Life And Invention1546 Words   |  7 Pageswithout your car? Rudolf Diesel created the perfect thing, a Diesel engine. Now with the invention of an engine, we can get wherever we need to go. Rudolf diesel’s life and invention has impacted the world greatly. Rudolf’s Life Rudolf Diesel was born in Paris, France, on March 18, 1858, and raised between there and in Germany throughout his life. Rudolf grew up with an older sister Louis, that was born in 1856, as well as a younger sister, Emma, born in 1859. Diesel was not allowed toRead MoreRudolf Diesel : A Man Of Science1295 Words   |  6 PagesRudolf Diesel I. Introduction According to the Famous Scientists web site, Rudolf Christian Karl Diesel was a man of science who made a big contribution to today`s society. He contributed greatly in the field of mechanical engineering, especially in nowadays transportation powering methods. Diesel is well-known for having invented the diesel engine, however he also happens to be a connoisseur of the arts, a social theorist, and a linguistic whose brilliant mind made breakthroughs which are stillRead MoreThe Invention Of The Nineteenth Century Essay1890 Words   |  8 PagesWhen asked what the most important invention is, many questions comes to mind, and these questions must be answered before responding to the initial question. Basically, anything that did not exist previously, whether it is a mechanical device or graphics, literature, or music, is an invention. The eighteenth, nineteenth and the twentieth centuries were met with innumerable of new inventions, technical breakthroughs, and innovations. Steam loc omotive, diesel engine and the internet were two of theRead MoreChemistry and Technology in Biodiesel Essay528 Words   |  3 Pagescleaner diesel fuel for diesel engines in many types of vehicles. It is safer for the environment and is a cleaner version of diesel. It is made from soybeans and other vegetation. It is made with a process called transesterification it seperates glycerin from fat or oil and then methyl esters and glycerin is what is left over and used for the fuel. Biodiesel had its origins with the invention of the diesel engine, as the diesel engine was designed to run on Biodiesel. Rudolf Diesel was theRead MoreThe Second Industrial Revolution605 Words   |  2 PagesCombustion Engine Positive effects Negative effects The automobile would not be possible without it Pollution Air planes would not possible without it The average person cannot fix it. It was lighter and cheaper than the stream engine May not last longer than diesel engines 2. From Instructors notes: First, explain in your own words why people were seeking to replace the steam engine during the 1800s. Then, for the second part of the question, choose either Gottleib Daimler or Rudolf Diesel and explainRead MoreThe Pros and Cons of Biofuel 859 Words   |  3 Pageshave increased in popularity as the rise of oil prices and with the push for alternative energy. Types of Biofuel There are first-generation fuels are second-generation fuels. The first generation fuels break down into Ethanol, Biodiesel, Green diesel, vegetable oil, biogas, etc. To be considered a first-generation fuel it must be made from sugars, starch or vegetable oil. In contrast to first-generation fuels, the second-generation fuels are more advanced and made from more complex elements. ThereRead MoreThe Locomotive Of The Transcontinental Railway2002 Words   |  9 Pagesof goods out west. Steam engines were a major part of the Industrial Revolution, and steam locomotives made travel from place to place so incredibly easy compared to the traditional horse and buggy, but as with everything else, technology advanced and the steel skinned, steam breathing dinosaurs that carved the way for many across the country, has met the end of the line with the advent of the diesel engine and electric streetcars essecently being combined to make diesel-electric locomotives mostRead MoreInternal Combust ion Engines1475 Words   |  6 PagesInternal Combustion Engines An internal-combustion engine is a heat engine that burns fuel and air inside a combustion chamber located within the engine proper. Simply stated, a heat engine is an engine that converts heat energy to mechanical energy. The internal- combustion engine should be distinguished from the external- combustion engine, for example, the steam engine and the Stirling engine, which burns fuel outside the prime mover, that is, the device that actually produces mechanicalRead MoreA Review : Efficiency Improvement And Reduction Essay2173 Words   |  9 Pagesand Reduction in emission by using blended vegetable oil Bio-Diesel in C.I. Engine. Onkar V. Dixit[1], Ajinkya Jadhav[2], Dr. Lavendra S. Bothra[3] M.E. Energy System and Management, ARMIET, Sapgoan [1] Asst. Professor, Mechanical Engineering, ARMIET, Sapgoan [2] Principal, ARMIET, Sapgoan [3] (E-mail- dipudixit1991@gmail.com) Abstract:- Bio-Fuel oils are used as alternate substitute to diesel in CI engines with improvement in engine performance and also reducing harmful exhaust gas emissionsRead MoreEthanol Vs. Ethanol Free Fuel Essay2067 Words   |  9 Pagesethanol free gasoline, dropping its competitiveness towards diesel even more. (Energy, 2015) Ethanol gasoline types include E10, E15, and E85. E10 represents gasoline with a 10% ethanol content, which is the norm now for most gasoline types, and what will mostly likely be in normal unleaded gasoline. E15, 15% ethanol, can only be used in flex-fuel or light duty cars because it produces not nearly enough power to run a large gasoline engine without major modifications. (Energy, 2015) E85, meaning that

The Host Chapter 41 Vanished Free Essays

Ian sat with me for three days in the darkness. He left for only a few short minutes at a time, to get us food and water. At first, Ian ate, though I did not. We will write a custom essay sample on The Host Chapter 41: Vanished or any similar topic only for you Order Now Then, as he realized that it wasn’t a loss of appetite that left my tray full, he stopped eating, too. I used his brief absences to deal with the physical needs that I could not ignore, thankful for the proximity of the odorous stream. As my fast lengthened, those needs vanished. I couldn’t keep from sleeping, but I did not make myself comfortable. The first day, I woke to find my head and shoulders cradled on his lap. I recoiled from him, shuddering so violently that he did not repeat the gesture. After that, I slumped against the stones where I was, and when I woke, I would curl back up into my silent ball at once. â€Å"Please,† Ian whispered on the third day-at least I thought it was the third day; there was no way to be sure of the passing time in this dark, silent place. It was the first time he’d spoken. I knew a tray of food was in front of me. He pushed it closer, till it touched my leg. I cringed away. â€Å"Please, Wanda. Please eat something.† He put his hand on my arm but moved away quickly when I flinched out from under it. â€Å"Please don’t hate me. I’m so sorry. If I’d known†¦ I would have stopped them. I won’t let it happen again.† He would never stop them. He was just one among many. And, as Jared had said, he’d had no objections before. I was the enemy. Even in the most compassionate, humankind’s limited scope of mercy was reserved for their own. I knew Doc could never intentionally inflict pain on another person. I doubted he would even be capable of watching such a thing, tender as his feelings were. But a worm, a centipede? Why would he care about the agony of a strange alien creature? Why would it bother him to murder a baby-slowly, slicing it apart piece by piece-if it had no human mouth to scream with? â€Å"I should have told you,† Ian whispered. Would it have mattered if I’d simply been told rather than having seen the tortured remains for myself? Would the pain be less strong? â€Å"Please eat.† The silence returned. We sat in it for a while, maybe another hour. Ian got up and walked quietly away. I could make no sense of my emotions. In that moment, I hated the body I was bound to. How did it make sense that his going depressed me? Why should it pain me to have the solitude I craved? I wanted the monster back, and that was plainly wrong. I wasn’t alone for long. I didn’t know if Ian had gone to get him or if he’d been waiting for Ian to leave, but I recognized Jeb’s contemplative whistle as it approached in the darkness. The whistling stopped a few feet from me, and there was a loud click. A beam of yellow light burned my eyes. I blinked against it. Jeb set the flashlight down, bulb up. It threw a circle of light on the low ceiling and made a wider, more diffuse sphere of light around us. Jeb settled himself against the wall beside me. â€Å"Gonna starve yourself, then? Is that the plan?† I glared at the stone floor. If I was being honest with myself, I knew that my mourning was over. I had grieved. I hadn’t known the child or the other soul in the cave of horrors. I could not grieve for strangers forever. No, now I was angry. â€Å"You wanna die, there are easier and faster ways.† As if I wasn’t aware of that. â€Å"So give me to Doc, then,† I croaked. Jeb wasn’t surprised to hear me speak. He nodded to himself, as if this was exactly what he’d known would come out of my mouth. â€Å"Did you expect us to just give up, Wanderer?† Jeb’s voice was stern and more serious than I had ever heard it before. â€Å"We have a stronger survival instinct than that. Of course we want to find a way to get our minds back. It could be any one of us someday. So many people we love are already lost. â€Å"It isn’t easy. It nearly kills Doc each time he fails-you’ve seen that. But this is our reality, Wanda. This is our world. We’ve lost a war. We are about to be extinct. We’re trying to find ways to save ourselves.† For the first time, Jeb spoke to me as if I were a soul and not a human. I had a sense that the distinction had always been clear to him, though. He was just a courteous monster. I couldn’t deny the truth of what he was saying, or the sense of it. The shock had worn off, and I was myself again. It was in my nature to be fair. Some few of these humans could see my side of things; Ian, at least. Then I, too, could consider their perspective. They were monsters, but maybe monsters who were justified in what they were doing. Of course they would think violence was the answer. They wouldn’t be able to imagine any other solution. Could I blame them that their genetic programming restricted their problem-solving abilities in this way? I cleared my throat, but my voice was still hoarse with disuse. â€Å"Hacking up babies won’t save anyone, Jeb. Now they’re all dead.† He was quiet for a moment. â€Å"We can’t tell your young from your old.† â€Å"No, I know that.† â€Å"Your kind don’t spare our babies.† â€Å"We don’t torture them, though. We never intentionally cause anyone pain.† â€Å"You do worse than that. You erase them.† â€Å"You do both.† â€Å"We do, yes-because we have to try. We have to keep fighting. It’s the only way we know. It’s keep trying or turn our faces to the wall and die.† He raised one eyebrow at me. That must have been what it looked like I was doing. I sighed and took the water bottle Ian had left close to my foot. I drained it in one long pull, and then cleared my throat again. â€Å"It will never work, Jeb. You can keep cutting us out in pieces, but you’ll just murder more and more sentient creatures of both species. We do not willingly kill, but our bodies are not weak, either. Our attachments may look like soft silver hair, but they’re stronger than your organs. That’s what’s happening, isn’t it? Doc slices up my family, and their limbs shred through the brains of yours.† â€Å"Like cottage cheese,† he agreed. I gagged and then shuddered at the image. â€Å"It makes me sick, too,† he admitted. â€Å"Doc gets real bent out of shape. Every time he thinks he’s got it cracked, it goes south again. He’s tried everything he can think of, but he can’t save them from getting turned into oatmeal. Your souls don’t respond to injected sedation†¦ or poison.† My voice came out rough with new horror. â€Å"Of course not. Our chemical makeup is completely different.† â€Å"Once, one of yours seemed to guess what was going to happen. Before Doc could knock the human out, the silver thingy tore up his brain from the inside. Course, we didn’t know that until Doc opened him up. The guy just collapsed.† I was surprised, strangely impressed. That soul must have been very brave. I had not had the courage to take that step, even in the beginning when I was sure they were going to try to torture this very information from me. I didn’t imagine they would try to slash the answer out for themselves; that course was so obviously doomed to failure, it had never occurred to me. â€Å"Jeb, we are relatively tiny creatures, utterly dependent on unwilling hosts. We wouldn’t have lasted very long if we didn’t have some defenses.† â€Å"I’m not denying that your kind have a right to those defenses. I’m just telling you that we’re gonna keep fighting back, however we can. We don’t mean to cause anyone pain. We’re makin’ this up as we go. But we will keep fighting.† We looked at each other. â€Å"Then maybe you should have Doc slice me up. What else am I good for?† â€Å"Now, now. Don’t be silly, Wanda. We humans aren’t so logical as all that. We have a greater range of good and bad in us than you do. Well, maybe mostly the bad.† I nodded at that, but he kept going, ignoring me. â€Å"We value the individual. We probably put too much emphasis on the individual, if it comes right down to it. How many people, in the abstract, would†¦ let’s say Paige†¦ how many people would she sacrifice to keep Andy alive? The answer wouldn’t make any sense if you were looking at the whole of humanity as equals. â€Å"The way you are valued here†¦ Well, that don’t make much sense when you look at it from humanity’s perspective, either. But there’s some who would value you above a human stranger. Have to admit, I put myself in that group. I count you as a friend, Wanda. Course, that’s not gonna work well if you hate me.† â€Å"I don’t hate you, Jeb. But†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"Yeah?† â€Å"I just don’t see how I can live here anymore. Not if you’re going to be slaughtering my family in the other room. And I can’t leave, obviously. So you see what I mean? What else is there for me but Doc’s pointless cutting?† I shuddered. He nodded seriously. â€Å"Now, that’s a real valid point. It’s not fair to ask you to live with that.† My stomach dropped. â€Å"If I get a choice, I’d rather you shot me, actually,† I whispered. Jeb laughed. â€Å"Slow down there, honey. Nobody’s shooting my friends, or hackin’ ‘ em up. I know you’re not lying, Wanda. If you say doing it our way isn’t going to work, then we’re going to have to rethink things. I’ll tell the boys they’re not to bring any more souls back for now. Besides, I think Doc’s nerves are toast. He can’t take much more of this.† â€Å"You could be lying to me,† I reminded him. â€Å"I probably couldn’t tell.† â€Å"You’ll have to trust me, then. Because I’m not going to shoot you. And I’m not going to let you starve yourself, either. Eat something, kid. That’s an order.† I took a deep breath, trying to think. I wasn’t sure if we’d come to an accommodation or not. Nothing made sense in this body. I liked the people here too much. They were friends. Monstrous friends that I couldn’t see in the proper light while sunk in emotion. Jeb picked up a thick square of cornbread soaked through with stolen honey and shoved it into my hand. It made a mess there, crumbling into gluey morsels that stuck to my fingers. I sighed again and started cleaning them off with my tongue. â€Å"That’s a girl! We’ll get over this rough spot. Things are gonna work out here, you’ll see. Try to think positive.† â€Å"Think positive,† I mumbled around a mouthful of food, shaking my head with disbelief. Only Jeb†¦ Ian came back then. When he walked into our circle of light and saw the food in my hand, the look that spread across his face filled me with guilt. It was a look of joyous relief. No, I had never intentionally caused anyone physical pain, but I had hurt Ian deeply enough just by hurting myself. Human lives were so impossibly tangled. What a mess. â€Å"Here you are, Jeb,† he said in a subdued voice as he sat down across from us, just slightly closer to Jeb. â€Å"Jared guessed you might be here.† I dragged myself half a foot toward him, my arms aching from being motionless so long, and put my hand on his. â€Å"Sorry,† I whispered. He turned his hand up to hold mine. â€Å"Don’t apologize to me.† â€Å"I should have known. Jeb’s right. Of course you fight back. How can I blame you for that?† â€Å"It’s different with you here. It should have stopped.† But my being here had only made it that much more important to solve the problem. How to rip me out and keep Melanie here. How to erase me to bring her back. â€Å"All’s fair in war,† I murmured, trying to smile. He grinned weakly back. â€Å"And love. You forgot that part.† â€Å"Okay, break it up,† Jeb mumbled. â€Å"I’m not done here.† I looked at him curiously. What more was there? â€Å"Now.† He took a deep breath. â€Å"Try not to freak out again, okay?† he asked, looking at me. I froze, gripping Ian’s hand tighter. Ian threw an anxious glance at Jeb. â€Å"You’re going to tell her?† Ian asked. â€Å"What now?† I gasped. â€Å"What is it now?† Jeb had his poker face on. â€Å"It’s Jamie.† Those two words turned the world upside down again. For three long days, I’d been Wanderer, a soul among humans. I was suddenly Wanda again, a very confused soul with human emotions that were too powerful to control. I jumped to my feet-yanking Ian up with me, my hand locked on his like a vise-and then swayed, my head spinning. â€Å"Sheesh. I said don’t freak out, Wanda. Jamie’s okay. He’s just really anxious about you. He heard what happened, and he’s been asking for you-worried out of his mind, that kid is-and I don’t think it’s good for him. I came down here to ask you to go see him. But you can’t go like this. You look horrible. It will just upset him for no good reason. Sit down and eat some more food.† â€Å"His leg?† I demanded. â€Å"There’s a little infection,† Ian murmured. â€Å"Doc wants him to stay down or he’d have come to get you a long time ago. If Jared wasn’t practically pinning him to the bed, he would have come anyway.† Jeb nodded. â€Å"Jared almost came here and carried you out by force, but I told him to let me speak to you first. It wouldn’t do the kid any good to see you catatonic.† My blood felt as though it had changed into ice water. Surely just my imagination. â€Å"What’s being done?† Jeb shrugged. â€Å"Nothin’ to do. Kid’s strong; he’ll fight it off.† â€Å"Nothing to do? What do you mean?† â€Å"It’s a bacterial infection,† Ian said. â€Å"We don’t have antibiotics anymore.† â€Å"Because they don’t work-the bacteria are smarter than your medicines. There has to be something better, something else.† â€Å"Well, we don’t have anything else,† Jeb said. â€Å"He’s a healthy kid. It just has to run its course.† â€Å"Run†¦ its†¦ course.† I murmured the words in a daze. â€Å"Eat something,† Ian urged. â€Å"You’ll worry him if he sees you like this.† I rubbed my eyes, trying to think straight. Jamie was sick. There was nothing to treat him with here. No options but waiting to see if his body could heal itself. And if it couldn’t†¦ â€Å"No,† I gasped. I felt as if I were standing on the edge of Walter’s grave again, listening to the sound of sand falling into the darkness. â€Å"No,† I moaned, fighting against the memory. I turned mechanically and started walking with stiff strides toward the exit. â€Å"Wait,† Ian said, but he didn’t pull against the hand he still held. He kept pace with me. Jeb caught up to me on the other side and shoved more food into my free hand. â€Å"Eat for the kid’s sake,† he said. I bit into it without tasting, chewed without thinking, swallowed without feeling the food go down. â€Å"Knew she was gonna overreact,† Jeb grumbled. â€Å"So why did you tell her?† Ian asked, frustrated. Jeb didn’t answer. I wondered why he didn’t. Was this worse even than I imagined? â€Å"Is he in the hospital?† I asked in an emotionless, inflectionless voice. â€Å"No, no,† Ian assured me quickly. â€Å"He’s in your room.† I didn’t even feel relief. Too numb for that. I would have gone into that room again for Jamie, even if it was still reeking of blood. I didn’t see the familiar caves I walked through. I barely noticed that it was day. I couldn’t meet the eyes of any of the humans who stopped to stare at me. I could only put one foot in front of the other until I finally reached the hallway. There were a few people clustered in front of the seventh cave. The silk screen was pushed far aside, and they craned their necks to see into Jared’s room. They were all familiar, people I’d considered friends. Jamie’s friends, too. Why were they here? Was his condition so unstable that they needed to check on him often? â€Å"Wanda,† someone said. Heidi. â€Å"Wanda’s here.† â€Å"Let her through,† Wes said. He slapped Jeb on the back. â€Å"Good job.† I walked through the little group without looking at them. They parted for me; I might have walked right into them if they hadn’t. I couldn’t concentrate on anything but moving myself forward. It was bright in the high-ceilinged room. The room itself was not crowded. Doc or Jared had kept everyone out. I was vaguely aware of Jared, leaning against the far wall with his hands clasped behind him-a posture he assumed only when he was really worried. Doc knelt beside the big bed where Jamie lay, just where I had left him. Why had I left him? Jamie’s face was red and sweaty. The right leg of his jeans had been cut away, and the bandage was peeled back from his wound. It wasn’t as big as I’d expected. Not as horrible as I would have imagined. Just a two-inch gash with smooth edges. But the edges were a frightening shade of red, and the skin around the cut was swollen and shiny. â€Å"Wanda,† Jamie exhaled when he saw me. â€Å"Oh, you’re okay. Oh.† He took a deep breath. I stumbled and fell to my knees beside him, dragging Ian down with me. I touched Jamie’s face and felt the skin burn under my hand. My elbow brushed Doc’s, but I barely noticed. He scooted away, but I didn’t look to see what emotion was on his face, whether it was aversion or guilt. â€Å"Jamie, baby, how are you?† â€Å"Stupid,† he said, grinning. â€Å"Just plain stupid. Can you believe this?† He gestured to his leg. â€Å"Of all the luck.† I found a wet rag on his pillow and wiped it across his forehead. â€Å"You’re going to be fine,† I promised. I was surprised at how fierce my voice sounded. â€Å"Of course. It’s nothing. But Jared wouldn’t let me come talk to you.† His face was suddenly anxious. â€Å"I heard about†¦ and Wanda, you know I -â€Å" â€Å"Shh. Don’t even think of it. If I’d had any idea you were sick I would have been here sooner.† â€Å"I’m not really sick. Just a stupid infection. I’m glad you’re here, though. I hated not knowing how you were.† I couldn’t swallow down the lump in my throat. Monster? My Jamie? Never. â€Å"So I heard you schooled Wes the day we got back,† Jamie said, changing the subject with a wide grin. â€Å"Man, I wish I could have seen that! I bet Melanie loved it.† â€Å"Yes, she did.† â€Å"She okay? Not too worried?† â€Å"Of course she’s worried,† I murmured, watching the cloth travel across his forehead as if it were someone else’s hand moving it. Melanie. Where was she? I searched through my head for her familiar voice. There was nothing but silence. Why wasn’t she here? Jamie’s skin was burning where my fingers brushed it. The feel of it-that unwholesome heat-should have had her in the same panic I was feeling. â€Å"You okay?† Jamie asked. â€Å"Wanda?† â€Å"I’m†¦ tired. Jamie, I’m sorry. I’m just†¦ out of it.† He eyed me carefully. â€Å"You don’t look so good.† What had I done? â€Å"I haven’t cleaned up in a while.† â€Å"I’m fine, you know. You should go eat or something. You’re pale.† â€Å"Don’t worry about me.† â€Å"I’ll get you some food,† Ian said. â€Å"You hungry, kid?† â€Å"Ah†¦ no, not really.† My eyes flashed back to Jamie. Jamie was always hungry. â€Å"Send someone else,† I told Ian, gripping his hand tighter. â€Å"Sure.† His face was smooth, but I could sense both surprise and worry. â€Å"Wes, could you get some food? Something for Jamie, too. I’m sure he’ll find that appetite by the time you get back.† I measured Jamie’s face. He was flushed, but his eyes were bright. He would be okay for a few minutes if I left him here. â€Å"Jamie, do you mind if I go wash my face? I feel sort of†¦ grimy.† He frowned at the false note in my voice. â€Å"Course not.† I pulled Ian up with me again as I rose. â€Å"I’ll be right back. I mean it this time.† He smiled at my weak joke. I felt someone’s eyes on me as I left the room. Jared’s or Doc’s, I didn’t know. I didn’t care. Only Jeb still stood in the hallway now; the others had gone, reassured, perhaps, that Jamie was doing okay. Jeb’s head tilted to the side, curious, as he tried to figure out what I was doing. He was surprised to see me leave Jamie’s side so soon and so abruptly. He, too, had heard the sham in my excuse. I hurried past his inquisitive gaze, towing Ian with me. I dragged Ian back through the room where the tunnels to all the living quarters met in a big tangle of openings. Instead of keeping on toward the main plaza, I pulled him into one of the dark corridors, picking at random. It was deserted. â€Å"Wanda, what -â€Å" â€Å"I need you to help me, Ian.† My voice was strained, frantic. â€Å"Whatever you need. You know that.† I put my hands on either side of his face, staring into his eyes. I could barely see a glint of their blue in the darkness. â€Å"I need you to kiss me, Ian. Now. Please.† How to cite The Host Chapter 41: Vanished, Essay examples